The Sleep Fighting Royal Rumble

Every day during nap time, Ames fights the smallest thought of sleep. He could be two fists deep in his eye balls and still fight falling and staying asleep until he's blue in the face. So far, naps are the worst...he is a cat napper, much liked self when I was a child apparently (so very sorry, mom). After 20 minutes, he's up again and won't go back to sleep for at least another hour and it's usually not a happy hour. 

One would think that since he has such small naps during the day that he would be exhausted at night....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 

Every night, without fail, he fights going down. We go through our usual bed time routine, lay him down while drowsy like everyone recommends, blah blah blah, and then for the next two hours we are up and down the stairs. He cries for 5 minutes, we put the binkie back in. He cries a little longer, we rock him and soothe him. He cries again, we beg and plead while rocking him and dancing and singing- this child has turned us into a freaking traveling circus! 

Then, by some miracle, we have gotten him to sleep. Naturally while exiting we do a tiny victory dance and PRAY that this time it sticks. That's what we are doing right now...I'm sitting next to Lance on the couch and neither of us are actually paying attention to the movie we are watching because we are afraid that our little bundle is going to start yelling at us again. 

Bedtime is the best/worst time of the day. When he actually stays asleep, it's the few hours that lance and I have to ourselves. If he doesn't...then we spend the last few hours before we go to bed running up and down the stairs like WWE wrestlers tagging each other in and out. 

All joking aside though, Ames is doing really well. He's SO MUCH FUN! Laughing, interactive, rolling, trying solids, trying to copy us. He is amazing. 

He's 6 months old and at our last therapy appointment they said he has fine motor skills and cognition of a 4 1/2 month old ( he's 4 months adjusted) and gross motor skills of a 6 month old! They still want h to gain more weight and grow longer. He's 14lbs and 24 inches long. So we are fortifying his bottles again with formula. The formula isn't a big deal since we have been supplementing ever since his appetite was more than I could keep up with the just exclusively breastfeeding. 

I think he's grown out of his "bathtub" haha

Working Parents

Holy crap, guys- our child does not stop moving. He's hilarious. He takes 20 minute cat naps and then he's back up and wants to be on the ground riding his imaginary bicycle and punching whatever is nearby. Sage has gotten close to lick him a couple times and gets popped in the chops. She sure loves him though. 

I started to think that maybe I was consuming too much caffeine or sugar and he STILL does it even after I cut back! We are screwed when he's mobile. Holy cow. 

Life is pretty crazy these days. It's the good kind of stress though. The kind of busy that puts you in a deep sleep at night. I feel like when we're home we run a million miles a minute- we're catching up on the mountain of laundry from the prior week(s), scrubbing the unknown sticky crap off of the walls, and trying to find time to exercise ourselves as well as our poor hyper dog. 

It's been pretty awesome to watch Ames develope and grow. He's sleeping in his

Crib and is only up once a night. HALLELUJAH! He's talking like crazy! He squeals and giggles, he's so much fun to talk to because he smiles from ear to ear all the time. He's almost 12lbs and has rolls for days 

I've been doing Crossfit at Power Valley since February and I feel the best I've felt- ever. I feel strong, confident, determined, competitive with myself, and motivated. Before, if you would of asked me to get up at 4:30 in the morning to workout I would have laughed at you and  told you to go away. Since February, lance and I have been going 4-5 times a week 3 of those times are 5am classes. We do the baby "rumba" during the week, he hands baby off to me so he can go to the 6am. It's working out well and I'm so glad he introduced it to me. I love being a part of such a strong community. I'm addicted- even when I do this mid- squat 

Last to Bed

Our bedtime routine, while effective, can be a bit daunting. There are so many moving parts that we encounter. Between prepping for the next day and getting Ames and ourselves ready for bed- it's madness. We prepare for the next day in hopes of having 5 extra minutes to change our second spit up covered shirt before running out the door to work. Sometimes that luxury doesn't exist and your very polite coworker points out that "you have some white gunk on your back" I hear that is a right of passage into the cool parent club. Hola! 

But honestly, it seems like our bedtime routine starts right after dinner. 

Left overs are the building blocks of lunch. 

Throw little man into the Moby and a leash on Sage- out we go on a walk. 

Once home again it's bath time. One of us starts the bath while the other cleans the explosion that is our downstairs and preps bottles for the day. 

Then we get Ames dressed and we read a couple books while Ames lays on the floor punching or kicking one of us vigorously. 

Then I nurse Ames while lance gets his

clothes and what not ready for the next day and gets ready for bed. 

By the time he's done nursing we burp and rock and then I put him down to sleep. 

Well,..now I have to care for myself. Brush teeth, wash face, pee, ya know- normal stuff. And by that point I'm about to crawl into bed. My husband is adorable, you can tell that he tried very hard to stay awake for a kiss goodnight, but some nights you're just exhausted. So I lay down, thinking about the next day and everything we needed to do and hopefully remembered to do and the once noise filled house is now silent. 

Its a pretty peaceful time, actually. Those 15 minutes I have to myself to think before falling asleep are pretty relaxing. I was blessed with one heck of a husband and son- that's a lot to think about before bed ;)

Ames is just shy of 5 months old. This kiddo is ADORABLE. He is smiling, cooing, rolling from tummy to back, sleeping 5 hours at a time at night, and recognizing faces. He loves playing on the ground and cuddling before bed. He enjoys sitting up in the Bumbo for a little bit at a time and LOVES bath time. He's so interested in the world. I love to watch him sit and think. He's over 11lbs and 21in and has so many rolls. We are smitten to say the least 😍

Ames- 4 months.

Oh man, what a wild ride this has been. It brings tears to my eyes thinking about how far he has come. After his 4 months of life, he has more than tripled his birth weight. The picture above compares 2 months to now. 

He is so much fun right now:

He loves to talk. 

Lay on the floor (back or tummy)

BEING OUTSIDE!! Going on walks, going to the store, in the Moby, in the stroller, sitting in our back porch, if we are outside he's happy for a long time. 

He loves smiling. Especially when daddy plays with him. 

He is recognizing familiar faces and smiles to let us know it. 

He does NOT like his feet tickled. We learned that the hard way

He loves sitting up- we recently found he likes the Bumbo 

He loves to snuggle when he's tired and he is only waking us up 2-3 times a night. 

Parenthood is no joke. It's incredibly tiring as you and your partner are trying so desperately to please this child so you can experience just a few minutes of shut eye. But even in the sleepiest of hours, Ames will stop crying, make a very deadpan face, go a little crosseyed and then start smiling and cooing. Most of the time a giant blow out or toot follows, but we'll take what we can get 😊

Sometimes I feel like my house is a circus. Other times I wonder how I am going to function on the 5 hours of broken sleep I just got and magically I do. So apparently I'm a little stronger than I think. 

When Ames was born I knew I wanted to make some fitness and eating lifestyle changes. The doctor who delivered him talked about how important my health was in order for Ames to maintain his health. We were already eating pretty well but I didn't have a workout routine. Lance has been doing crossfit for a little over a year now and I finally drank the Kool-Aid. I've been doing it a little over a month and I have lots 5lbs and gained so much strength. I'm so glad he talked me into trying it and I'm so thrilled that we are making our lifestyle change now. Our little guy had a rough entry into the world but he's tough. He's a fighter. I want to show him that his mama and daddy are too 😊

Short and Sweet

Our sweet Ames is a couple days shy of 4 months old (chronological) he's 7 weeks adjusted age. He is incredibly fun right now. In between his fits of undescribed anger, he is SO happy.

When we click our tongue, sing to him, and especially when we laugh, he grins ear to ear. He coos and squeals. Oh it's the best. It's been hard leaving him every day. The first few days weren't terrible but as we go it's getting a little harder. 

We are getting into a bed time routine and it includes rocking him. This has become my favorite part of the night. Even though I miss him when he sleeps, nothing beats holding him as he snuggles  up. The little noises of him breathing, sucking on his binky. He's getting longer and almost doesn't fit lengthwise in our rocking chair. While we have our hard days, they're minimized by our ever wonderful and happy days 😊

Oh my heart

Yesterday was my first day back to work. I was offered a job I really couldn't refuse at Oregon Cascade West Council of Governments. I'm their new intake case manager. It was a $5 raise from what I had been making, phenomenal benefits, and it's here in Albany. It also helps that it is doing exactly what I've wanted/aspired to do for the past year. 

Flip side to all of this wonderful-ness in the work place...I left Ames for more than just a couple hours for the first time since the NICU. I did better than I thought I would, I think mostly because he's with family. I only cried on my way to work and then got it together. 

We are so fortunate to have family so close by. He's being watched by a combination of his aunt Melina, aunt Kim, aunt Jenny, his Oma, and other willing family as needed. It's a huge relief knowing that he is in loving and caring hands. 

Right now, he's fast asleep on my chest and it is a surreal moment. He's done this hundreds of times before. This time, however, I have to savor for another 3 minutes before I'm forced to get ready for another day. 

My dear friend and hairstylist (Roxie at Happy hollow in corvallis, seriously guys- check her out!!) gave me some of the best advice I have been given. She said "even though you can't be with him all the time, be intentional and spend your time interacting with him." This makes every minute with him so incredibly special. I'm soaking up every tiny breath that lands on my chest and every little twitch that reminds me of his father. 

So while this is so tough to adjust....man do I have a wonderful baby who makes coming home the most exciting part of my day. 

My House is a Circus (Ames, 3 months)

I think of our house as a Circus these days.

In the beginning of the day there is some misleading silence while preparing food, sipping coffee, letting Sage out.

Then as the day progresses we start to warm up for the "big show." We practice with a couple tantrums- nothing too big, just warming up our wind pipes.

And I swear the big production starts the second Lance walks through the door after work.
I'm wiping up dinner with one hand, Ames is in the Moby wrap and I'm tossing the frisbee for Sage with the other hand (because, naturally her and Ames have coordinated "witching hours") and then we are in the heart of the show. Lance now has Ames and he's wippin' up bottles, slangin' diapers, bouncing around with our sweet colicky baby.

In stereo Lance and I are singing every nursery rhyme song we can think of- if we can be louder than he is then it's a quick fix.

I am so thankful to have a partner who is willing to dance and sing, make silly faces, and play with our son in hopes of just 5 minutes of relief. Seeing the two of them together, even in the hardest times, warms my heart.

Ames is now 3 months old chronological and 3 weeks adjusted age. Every day seems to be a little easier. I'm not sure if it's because we are getting used to sleep being a distant memory or if things are, dare I say, settling down a little bit. Either way, I'm loving being a mommy even though it terrifies and challenges me on a daily basis.

I've loved him unconditionally since the day he was born- but I am going to be honest, and I understand that some people will think Im crazy and never understand or they will absolutely relate, there were times in the NICU that I felt like I couldn't exactly connect with him. I continually had to ask to pick him up or I had to hold still in one specific position so that his head wasn't in a weird position or so his leads wouldn't fall off.

It wasn't until we got home and Lance and I became his primary caretakers that I felt like we really truly started to bond and connect.

We were told so often that we needed to learn his cries. "He'll have a dirty diaper cry, a hungry cry, and tired cry- you need to learn all of those cries" Dude, when this kid cries, it all sounds the same! Sure, I can tell when he's tired because it sounds like he's faking his cry and when hungry he just doesn't STOP crying until he gets a boob- but a cry, is a cry, is a cry- they all sound the same.
I felt guilty because everyone, everywhere, says from the second you hold your baby you are overwhelmed with this (insert emotion) connection.

The first time I held Ames, I felt relief that he was alive and well but I also felt absolutely terrified for our road ahead. Bonding in the NICU can be challenging, we would embrace Kangaroo Care until the nurses would come in for the next feeding or our bladders were about to explode, but still we stood back and watched him being cared for from afar.

I guess the reason I'm talking about all of this is because for the longest time I felt guilty for not having that "instant connection" instead I had emotions of fear, anxiety, happiness, love, gratefulness, but it wasn't until we were home that I felt that we were able to develop this bond that everyone speaks of and that's okay. For a while I felt guilty, but it's okay that not everything was textbook (I mean obviously, he arrived 10 weeks early). The bond we have is amazing and I now know exactly what everyone talks about.

Ames went through a phase there where he would not sleep unless he was sleeping on someone. We have him in a bassinet next to our bed and every time we would lay him down he would go from drowsy to wide awake and cry and cry and cry and cry. Finally, this weekend we started to get creative. We turned on a fan and put it next to him, we built a small cocoon around him by using the bobby (all blankets and what not away from his face- don't worry, I promise it was safe) and our prayers were answered! He finally was sleeping on his own, without fuss, in between feedings.

We are trying to get onto a schedule as best as we can. It's hard when he still sleeps quite a bit throughout the day, but so far we are starting to fall into place a little bit.

While Ames has been quite colicky lately, he also has his pretty darn cute times. He is starting to smile more and is definitely finding his voice. He seems curious, whenever he is awake he looks all over the place and really takes everything in. What I would give in order to know what he is thinking. He is mesmerized by Lance. He stares at him and tries to figure him out every time they interact. It is so much fun to watch.

He is indifferent about tummy time. Sometimes he loves it so much that being on his tummy puts him to sleep and other times he hates it.

It has been pretty incredible to watch him start to develop and change even the slightest bit. It makes me so excited to see all of the milestones that we have yet to reach.

Over 8lbs now and full of rolls!!