Tonight I began working on my very first mock lesson plan. It was very exciting at first! So excited that I started looking at Facebook 15 minutes in. During my 85th scheduled break, I came across a scarymommy post (http://www.scarymommy.com/sanctimommy-with-one-2-week-old-child-cant-understand-whats-so-hard-about-parenting/)
It was about a woman who ranted about parents today. In short, this individual felt that parents today are using their kids as excuses to not tend to their daily parental duties i.e.; cleaning, cooking, showering... The individual goes on to say that she has been a parent for two weeks and she has managed to do all of these things without any problems.
I want to stress that I am not and do not want to bad mouth this person by ANY means. That is definitely NOT what this post is about. It is mostly to tip my hat to all of you parents out there who are holding it together, or trying to one day at a time.
The post baffled me for a few reasons. The first being, when parents post social media pictures/statuses about the amount of peanut butter they found on their curtains or that their youngest colored themselves red to match Elmo, this is not (most of the time) because the parent is being lazy. It's because this stuff is hilarious (after said peanut butter and red marker is washed off) and no one, except parents, will understand the urge to be furious and bust out laughing at the same time. You can't make this stuff up!
Secondly, I do not believe that this is parents being lazy or using their energetic child as a scapegoat for all responsibilities. It is simply some parents (or most people for that matter) do not have enough hours in the day to have Joanna Gaines homes, Martha Stewart meals, work full time, and try to feed and nourish the moving target that is your child. I, personally, am a mother of 1 and some days it feels like 50. I work full time, I am going to school full time, my husband works full time, we are active in our gym, and we have playdates/family get togethers quite often. There are simply not enough hours in the day- so we choose our battles, we prioritize.
There are days that I have cleaned the house top to bottom during his naps, only to find my living room decorated with dog food 15 minutes after he wakes up. I have scrubbed food off of the wall next to where our kitchen table is so many times, I am days away from just seeing drywall. So after a long, exhausting day at work, when I know that I have a maximum of 90 minutes before Ames' bedtime, you can bet that I am going to spend that time, on the floor, with my son, making even more of a mess with his toys. Will I pick them up every time? Absolutely not, because in 12 hours, when he wakes up, he's going to put them right back where they are now. Instead, I'm going to use that time to, actually wash my hair? Because it isn't 5 in the morning, when Ames has woken up too early and is squishing his face against the shower glass and banging the door loud enough to wake the neighbors. Or maybe I will actually finish a homework assignment early rather than 2 hours before it was due because I have had to work late. You choose a lot of battles in life. These are some of the Armstrongs.
Please don't get me wrong, I believe in keeping a sanitary home (public health nerd) and I believe that responsibility is taught through putting away toys that are taken out, taking care of your toys, etc. My whole point of this is that some of the expectations that are placed on parents these days; to "do it all" are incredibly overwhelming and if you don't fulfill them all every single day, you're some how a bad parent. They are unrealistic. We need to treat other parents with respect and have a little grace! What better lesson to teach your children, than to show them how to empower others rather than criticize and judge. What better lesson to teach your children than to be graceful and understanding.
We have to choose our battles. We won't be able to do it all, every single day, unless we stop sleeping and we all know we don't do enough of that as it is.
I know a mother of twin boys who spent days on days on days in the NICU. She is a stay at home mommy to these sweet boys, so for the time that her fiance is at work, she is outnumbered. The expectation that she has every duck in a row, every single day, is ridiculous.
I know another mommy who has 3 kids under 3. THREE UNDER THREE PEOPLE! This woman is a badass (you know who you are, Chelsea!) Her twins also spent time in the NICU, while her husband stayed with their oldest. Now she's back to work, her husband works, and she still finds time to love, feed, and nurture ALL 3. They are also outnumbered so I'm sure they chose their battles wisely as well.
Another mommy I know has a sweet preemie that shares a birthday with Ames. She has worked day in and day out on teaching him milestones, working with his eating, being his advocate. The amount of effort and time and specialists that this takes is something you can't understand unless you're in it!
Other amazing mommies; A mommy who grew up younger than most and raised a dazzling (yes, me) young lady and my two sweet, determined and amazing sisters, all while working full time and going to school full time. a dental hygienist of a strong willed a determined, sweet little boy and a beautiful little girl, who is the most giving and thoughtful person out there. A stay at home mommy of two beautiful girls who ALSO nannies for a little girl- this gal is no joke, her activities are better than most preschools. A working mom of three of the most well mannered kids/teen I have ever had the pleasure of being around (she is probably the only one who's house I have never seen dirty- KUDOS to you Jaime). And all of you other working mommies, stay at home mommies, bad ass mommies. You rock. And when it comes time for the witching hour and you have found yourself "needing to use the bathroom the second your husband gets home" and in reality you are actually sitting on the toilet with a bottle of wine and 15 minutes of uninterrupted facebook scrolling- Just know, I'm likely doing the same. And tomorrow is a new day- with the same stuff.
You guys rock!
It was about a woman who ranted about parents today. In short, this individual felt that parents today are using their kids as excuses to not tend to their daily parental duties i.e.; cleaning, cooking, showering... The individual goes on to say that she has been a parent for two weeks and she has managed to do all of these things without any problems.
I want to stress that I am not and do not want to bad mouth this person by ANY means. That is definitely NOT what this post is about. It is mostly to tip my hat to all of you parents out there who are holding it together, or trying to one day at a time.
The post baffled me for a few reasons. The first being, when parents post social media pictures/statuses about the amount of peanut butter they found on their curtains or that their youngest colored themselves red to match Elmo, this is not (most of the time) because the parent is being lazy. It's because this stuff is hilarious (after said peanut butter and red marker is washed off) and no one, except parents, will understand the urge to be furious and bust out laughing at the same time. You can't make this stuff up!
Secondly, I do not believe that this is parents being lazy or using their energetic child as a scapegoat for all responsibilities. It is simply some parents (or most people for that matter) do not have enough hours in the day to have Joanna Gaines homes, Martha Stewart meals, work full time, and try to feed and nourish the moving target that is your child. I, personally, am a mother of 1 and some days it feels like 50. I work full time, I am going to school full time, my husband works full time, we are active in our gym, and we have playdates/family get togethers quite often. There are simply not enough hours in the day- so we choose our battles, we prioritize.
There are days that I have cleaned the house top to bottom during his naps, only to find my living room decorated with dog food 15 minutes after he wakes up. I have scrubbed food off of the wall next to where our kitchen table is so many times, I am days away from just seeing drywall. So after a long, exhausting day at work, when I know that I have a maximum of 90 minutes before Ames' bedtime, you can bet that I am going to spend that time, on the floor, with my son, making even more of a mess with his toys. Will I pick them up every time? Absolutely not, because in 12 hours, when he wakes up, he's going to put them right back where they are now. Instead, I'm going to use that time to, actually wash my hair? Because it isn't 5 in the morning, when Ames has woken up too early and is squishing his face against the shower glass and banging the door loud enough to wake the neighbors. Or maybe I will actually finish a homework assignment early rather than 2 hours before it was due because I have had to work late. You choose a lot of battles in life. These are some of the Armstrongs.
Please don't get me wrong, I believe in keeping a sanitary home (public health nerd) and I believe that responsibility is taught through putting away toys that are taken out, taking care of your toys, etc. My whole point of this is that some of the expectations that are placed on parents these days; to "do it all" are incredibly overwhelming and if you don't fulfill them all every single day, you're some how a bad parent. They are unrealistic. We need to treat other parents with respect and have a little grace! What better lesson to teach your children, than to show them how to empower others rather than criticize and judge. What better lesson to teach your children than to be graceful and understanding.
We have to choose our battles. We won't be able to do it all, every single day, unless we stop sleeping and we all know we don't do enough of that as it is.
I know a mother of twin boys who spent days on days on days in the NICU. She is a stay at home mommy to these sweet boys, so for the time that her fiance is at work, she is outnumbered. The expectation that she has every duck in a row, every single day, is ridiculous.
I know another mommy who has 3 kids under 3. THREE UNDER THREE PEOPLE! This woman is a badass (you know who you are, Chelsea!) Her twins also spent time in the NICU, while her husband stayed with their oldest. Now she's back to work, her husband works, and she still finds time to love, feed, and nurture ALL 3. They are also outnumbered so I'm sure they chose their battles wisely as well.
Another mommy I know has a sweet preemie that shares a birthday with Ames. She has worked day in and day out on teaching him milestones, working with his eating, being his advocate. The amount of effort and time and specialists that this takes is something you can't understand unless you're in it!
Other amazing mommies; A mommy who grew up younger than most and raised a dazzling (yes, me) young lady and my two sweet, determined and amazing sisters, all while working full time and going to school full time. a dental hygienist of a strong willed a determined, sweet little boy and a beautiful little girl, who is the most giving and thoughtful person out there. A stay at home mommy of two beautiful girls who ALSO nannies for a little girl- this gal is no joke, her activities are better than most preschools. A working mom of three of the most well mannered kids/teen I have ever had the pleasure of being around (she is probably the only one who's house I have never seen dirty- KUDOS to you Jaime). And all of you other working mommies, stay at home mommies, bad ass mommies. You rock. And when it comes time for the witching hour and you have found yourself "needing to use the bathroom the second your husband gets home" and in reality you are actually sitting on the toilet with a bottle of wine and 15 minutes of uninterrupted facebook scrolling- Just know, I'm likely doing the same. And tomorrow is a new day- with the same stuff.
You guys rock!
Well said. Don't ever compare yourself to anyone, you are doing AMAZING!!!
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