Helicopter Parents

Hello, we are the Armstrongs, and we are Helicopter Parents....
I prefer the term "unconditionally loving parents" but some would classify the constant questions, always looking for updates, sleeping in the rocking chair at his bedside, baby wipe baths because there is no way I'm leaving him long enough to shower every day, only leaving for potty breaks and 5 minute snacks, as a little bit of "hovering". No one can blame us, our child is in the NICU for goodness sake. He's such a little trooper. Every day I am amazed at how strong he is.

Being a NICU parent is hard. Duh. You picture yourself bringing home your baby after delivering and changing their diaper whenever, feeding them whenever they are hungry, learning their cues and their schedule, snuggling and cuddling them, playing with them, at your leisure. In the NICU I feel like I have to always double check with the nurses before I do something, if he's not sleeping I do everything in my power to get him back to sleep so that his little brain can grow, I've washed my hands so many times that they are dry and cracked, I'm paranoid about germs, I'm paranoid about everything that we talk to the Nurse Practitioner who's following him every day and would prefer that he just sit in his room and reassure me that everything is okay every 5 minutes (helicopter parents...)

Our little guy is a champ though. Mr. Ames Wilde is almost back up to his birth weight, he is 3 pounds 2 oz and has so much fuzzy blonde hair.

They have upped his feedings consistently over the past couple days, he's up to 25mL per feeding and based on a complicated calculation that I don't understand, his goal is to get to around 30mL per feeding. Almost there :) They are going to start fortifying my breast milk for his feedings starting tomorrow and that should help him bump up on the weight as well. They did a head ultrasound and there are no signs of brain bleeding which is fantastic.
He loves to be cuddled. He is most content when he is bundled up in a swaddle or when he is on Mommy or Daddy's chest. He sleeps so soundly during Kangaroo Care and it is our absolute favorite time of day.

He has had a couple spit up spells lately, the doctors and nurses aren't concerned as long as it isn't a large amount. So far, so good. I have to remember that he is a baby and that babies do spit up...(helicopter parents...lol)
You're feisty and so sweet all in one. If you're content you do not like to be bothered, diaper changes and temp checks are not your favorite. He loves listening to mommy and daddy's voices and boy he has been bright eyed these last few days. Probably one of the cutest things is when his eyes are open wide and he starts to smile and then goes cross eyed. I can't help but giggle every time because it is the cutest thing I've ever seen. In those moments it removes all of the stress of him being here and all I can think about is how much love I have for him. He loves to hold our fingers, especially when he gets flustered he reaches out and holds our finger and brings it in close to his face or chest and relaxes almost instantly. Talk about the worlds best feeling, the fact that we can soothe him is unlike anything I've ever felt before.

The days are starting to go by a little faster. We have a pretty solid schedule down:
wake up around 7:30 and get into his room before his 9am care. Assist with his 9am cares, diaper change, temp check, oral cares, just general comforting and getting him ready for his feeding. We read to him, sing to him, play music for him for a little bit and take care of any of the million things we have on our plate before his Noon cares. Around noon we do Kangaroo Care during his feeding and we usually stay there fore about 3 hours until his next feeding. Then we go have lunch and spend a little mommy and daddy time, generally talking about Ames, but still it's time outside of his room. We come back before his 3PM care and the other person does Kangaroo Care for 3 hours with him. We leave for dinner, back by his 9PM care and depending on how tired we are, another person holds him for Kangaroo Care and we leave to go to bed around midnight. Repeat

I think the reality of everything that is going on right now; being pseudo gypsies in the RV afer moving out of our apartment in a day (THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to our amazing family for doing all of that), in the process of buying a house, being a parent to a gorgeous little boy in the NICU- holy crap. I mean, any of those things is a lot, heck, why not do all 3??

I've said it before, but I am SO thankful for our family and friends support system. We could not make it through this without every single one of you and we are forever thankful for all of you and everything you've done.

Ames Wilde Armstrong

Ames Wilde Armstrong

3lbs 4oz

16 inches

With a little noggin measuring 11.5'

Wow- What a past couple of days. I went from writing sarcastically about how awesome it was to eat cheese while being pregnant and how much my back hurt while sitting down to- here is our son! 10 weeks early and precious as can be. 

Thank you to every single person who has prayed for us, came to visit us, sent us kind wishes, and just thought about our family as we go through this. We have been blessed with some of the greatest family and friends and I cannot tell you how much we appreciate everything that everyone has done. I wish we could thank you all individually, just know that we love you all dearly and are so appreciative of everything.

So how did our little one get here so quickly? Well, I mean, come on- look at how awesome his family is. He heard we had an awesome dog and that daddy is really funny and decided he would wait no longer!

It all started on Saturday, the 8th.

I woke up that morning and had been spotting with some mild back and lower abdomen cramping. When I called the doctor on call she advised I come in for observation. Lance and I went over to Meridian Park Hospital and they hooked me up to a contraction monitor and a fetal heart rate monitor. After 5 hours of observation they did a diagnosis by elimination and chalked it up to a potential and minor placenta abruption. I was advised to call if there was any new fresh red blood or if I began leaking fluids. Fast forward to Sunday morning at 4am, I'm leaking fluid and have fresh new blood- back to Meridian Park we go, this time it's my OBGYN who is on call and she runs tests to determine if the fluid I was leaking was amniotic fluid and contractions are now 2-4 minutes apart and slightly painful- first test, positive and I was 75% effaced. 

At this point we were told so many things but I only heard one: 

"You'll be in the hospital now until you deliver, Ames."

 I'm sorry- what? Is this real life? I have 10 weeks to go, his crib doesn't have sheets yet, I haven't gotten his car seat fitted into our car, my FMLA paperwork isn't completed...

They start hooking me up to an IV for magnesium to slow the contractions and provide neuro support, they hook me up to fluids, and they give me a steroid shot in my butt to promote lung development for Ames. The goal from what I understood was "keep you pregnant as long as we can so that he can get stronger"

Everyone leaves the room to get things ready for us to transport to St.Vincent's and I ball. I hold onto Lance like my life depends on it and I ball. 

Family and friends meet us at St.Vincents and they run another set of tests to determine if my water has in fact broken (still spotting a lot at this point and contractions are getting stronger even while on magnesium). 

The second test comes back negative for amniotic fluid and we are told that my water has in fact not broken but I am experiencing pre-term labor. Their game plan was to keep me on the magnesium in hopes that they would be able to stop the laboring. I would stay until at least Tuesday so that I could get my second steroid shot in case Ames came early and they wanted to see what would happen if I came off of the magnesium. So we are waiting. Family comes in, friends come in, and we wait. The whole time, I'm still spotting and I hear "it's okay darling, it's normal, this happens to some women. Don't worry about it- everything looks great." 

Mommy instincts- stop telling me it's normal, I'm still concerned. 

Fast forward to 7PM, family has gone home because they are reassured that everything is "normal" and boom, I have two quarter sizes of fresh blood come out. "That's normal" my nurse says and documents it for the next nurse to monitor. 9PM- I'm bleeding uncontrollably and this is where things happened so quickly that I felt like I was standing outside of my body watching everyone run around in slow motion. The on call OBGYN team member that came in to check me out told me that my placenta had likely ruptured, and she would be paging the on call doc for him to determine what we should proceed with doing. "Just in case, here are the risks of a C-Section, you'll need to sign a consent form."

I'm sorry, what? Is this the real thing? Is this normal? What's going on?

I look at Lance and he instantly grabs me and holds me. Comforting me with every ounce of his equally as scared being. That's when the nurses swarm in. I have one cutting my belly band off of me, another wiping my tummy down with cleansing clothes, one is asking me to sign the C-Section consent form, another is pulling off my pants and getting me into a gown, another is putting together everything on my IV to transport with me and with that, I'm rushed to an OR, Lance running behind me trying to get into his Breaking Bad look alike monkey suit so he can be by my side while we have an emergency C-Section and meet our son for the first time. 

I'm sorry, what? That's all I can keep thinking. What just happened!? Where did everyone come from and how did I get here?! This wasn't in the plan. This wasn't part of the birthing process I had dreamt about for the past 30 weeks. This was everything I didn't want. This was me delivering my precious unborn son, early, with a spinal block, and a C-Section. 

My anesthesiologist was amazing. She explained everything to me, reassured me, and talked me through my adrenaline shakes until Lance was allowed to come in and be with me. 

I hold his hand while they work on getting our son out as quickly as I can and we cry. Every parent's biggest concerns running through our heads and then we heard him. We heard his sweet cry and I am now crying tears of joy. Our little boy is strong enough to cry and I feel like one ounce of my "birth plan" isn't totally stripped from me. They show him to me and quickly carry him off to the NICU where Lance follows and I get patched up. 

They surgeons who did my surgery were fantastic, they did an excellent job, took their time, and walked me through what was going on. Lance came back with pictures of our sweet boy and stayed with me in recovery until I could start to feel my legs again. I had the craziest shakes I had ever experienced and all that I wanted was to see my son and a big glass of water. Both denied- for at least an hour. 

The NICU doctor came down to talk to Lance and I and told us how strong our little guy is. She explained the process and I probably caught every 3rd word she said. After I could start feeling my legs we went down  and I got to see my little guy for the first real time. All of the tubes and wires hooked up to him and he was still the most handsome and perfect baby I've ever laid eyes on. I put my hand in with him and he squeezed my finger with his tiny fingers and there I was again, crying.

They told me I had to rest and get my pain under control before I could hold him so I was wheeled up to our room and sat in bed staring at the wall, trying to process what had just happened. Family came in and out, they all got to see our sweet boy, and hugged me before leaving. 

"Sleep, rest up, you're going to need it" everyone kept telling me. I slept a total of 3 hours broken into 30 minute naps. What just happened!? Was all I could think about. I didn't feel like myself, I was so out of it and so baffled at what had just happened that I couldn't process. 

After my last nap I felt better and I was able to process things a little better. I was ready to go see my son and to hold him. That was a moment that I could never explain in words. When he cried and I was able to be his mommy and reassure him that everything was okay. That I was there and I wasn't going to let anything happen to him- and it worked. His breathing calmed, his heart-rate where it needed to be, and he slept. My sweet love just sleeping in my arms and then watching him in Lance's arms later that day. Absolutely amazing. 

And that is the story of the longest 48 hours of my life.

But, Ames, you are the light of our lives my sweet boy and I'm so thankful that you are safe. I have never been more terrified and overjoyed at one time. I'm so thankful to have you safe and in the hands of some of the best NICU professionals. I'm so sorry that I couldn't keep you in my tummy safe and sound just a little bit longer. I promise that Daddy and I are going to do everything in our power to keep you safe and we will be there for you every day, holding your hand, giving you kisses, and loving you with every ounce of our being.

You are so strong my sweet little Ames, Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you already.